In Memory

January 17 concert in memory of Sylvie featuring Suzi Shelton.

Hello everyone,

It's Cindy and I wanted to post information regarding a Suzi Shelton concert that will dedicated to the beautiful Princess Sylvie. This show will benefit the Tomorrows Children's Fund, a charity that is very dear to Audra, Michael and Sylvie.

The wonderfully talented Suzi Shelton will be performing on January 17th at the Rosen Theater at the YM-YWHA of North Jersey at 11 am. Most of you may be familiar with Suzi's music. She was one of Sylvie's most favorite people in the world. Suzi's music and her visits always brought a smile to Sylvie's face. And if you were lucky enough to get any of Sylvie's super duper birthday mix CD's then of course you know her! After over 6 months of not taking a single step, it was Suzi who put a spring back in Sylvie's step and got her moving and grooving again.

TCF's mission is to create a healthy and warm environment for children with cancer and their parents. And I've seen first hand how amazing they are to all the children, including Princess Sylvie. They are a wonderful organization.

For those who can come, please join us to listen to some great music that will benefit Tomorrows Children's Fund and honor the memory Sylvie.

In addition, there will some terrific silent auction items, too!

Concert Information:
January 17th, 2010
Rosen Theater in the YM-YWHA of North Jersey
http://www.ymha-nj.org/
Adults: $10.00 Children: $8.00
Sponsors: $100: includes 4 reserved seats and a meet and greet with Suzi Shelton
Children under the age of 2 are free.
For more information contact Shari Kalter at (973) 595-0100 ext. 272.
To buy tickets please call (973) 595-0100 ext. 237



*The picture posted is from Suzi's show at Little Airplane Studios. Sylvie's even wearing her Suzi Shelton dress that Audra bedazzled (of course) with sparkly music notes and cupcakes!

Posting from Grandpa (my eulogy)

All of us have seen Sylvie through a different "pair of glasses". As the the daughter of a good friend; as a pupil in school; as a patient in a hospital; as a customer in a store; as a child just having fun in a swimming pool; as a patron in a restaurant; as the first grandchild of a friend;

and as a mommy and a daddy. It has also been my privilege to call her my grandchild, if only for a little more than three years. Most of you reading this honored her by attending her memorial service. I did so much want to utter my parting words to Sylvie as they would not be falling on deaf ears, but would have been absorbed by her bright and receptive mind. I could never have finished the first sentence without becoming incoherent so I had Rabbi Wylen say them for me.

But I want this to be a permanent testimonial to the bravest and most beautiful child to ever grace this earth.......

"To have only been with us for 3 years and 200 days, but to have touched so many lives, is a truly remarkable accomplishment for such a little princess. Her touch melted my heart - her words brought a smile to my lips - her personality won you over - her presence made you love her. Sylvie will always be remembered.

Sylvie indured and overcame a multitude of desease, sickness, complications and pain. The strength of that little body should be an inspiration to all of us. Maybe it was the princesses that Sylvie loved and adored that gave her strength. Certainly it was the power of stickers that sustained Sylvie.

I am so fortunate to be left with one lasting memory of her little arms wrapped around my neck while she fell asleep on my chest. And now she sleeps forever - no more tubies - no more needles - no more machines - no more medicines - no more probes. Sylvie can finally sleep in true peace".

Light a Candle

Hello everyone,

This is Cindy, Michael & Audra's friend and Princess Sylvie's honorary "Tita/Aunt." I'd love to pass along information regarding the Worldwide Candle Lighting tomorrow, December 13th at 7 pm.

Info below:

Excitement has been building as the thirteenth Worldwide Candle Lighting December 13, 2009 approaches. The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, creating a virtual wave of light, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries.

Believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, the Worldwide Candle Lighting, a gift to the bereavement community from The Compassionate Friends, creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held and thousands of informal candle lightings are conducted in homes as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died, but will never be forgotten.

The Worldwide Candle Lighting started in the United States in 1997 as a small Internet observance but has since swelled in numbers as word has spread throughout the world of the remembrance.

Please join us tomorrow evening and light a candle to remember....

Eulogy to Sylvie

As promised, below is our eulogy which Rabbi Wylen read on our behalf last Tuesday.

Stickers made everything better for Sylvie. She obsessively collected them. She held people ransom for them. She exploded with joy at the sight of them. She was motivated by them. She spent hours upon hours thinking about them, begging to go shopping for them, trying to sneak them into school, obsessing in the store about them, carrying them around, shaking down her doctors and nurses for them, making us stuff our pockets with them, sleeping with them. Every now and then, if we were lucky, she’d share one with us. Or you. They made her incredibly happy. She would LOVE knowing that each and every one of you was wearing a sticker and would probably want to apply them entirely by herself. Thank you for indulging us by wearing stickers.

Sylvie was a gift from heaven that was sent to help us and teach us for 3.5 years. She was not just beautiful. She was extraordinarily beautiful. She was not just special. She was extraordinarily special. She was radiant, glittery both spiritually and physically. Sylvie saw magic and wonder in absolutely everything. Her intuition was remarkable and sometimes a little frightening. Her emotions and expressions were exponentially bigger than her petite size. And Sylvie’s voice was certainly that of an angel. She was earth, fire, air and water all wrapped up in one pint-sized package. It goes without saying that her strength was greater than ours or yours. Losing her feels like we have been robbed of everything at one time.. It is unfair, unjust and clearly too soon although friends have suggested to us that Sylvie was called back because she had her next special assignment. As Rabbi Wylen said Sylvie was a supernova.

Perhaps Sylvie’s love for all things make-believe was a way for her to cope with feeling ill and her own way of being positive. We joke that her best friend Samantha ‘lit the match’ by forcing Sylvie to wear her then too-big Jasmine nightgowns and tiaras but that Sylvie (and we) ignited an entire universe of princesses, fairies and ponies. When we would go hiking, one of us would run ahead and hide stickers from the Sticker Fairy in the trees. Or the Garden Fairy would plant a sheet of princess stickers among the swiss chard. Or the Woodland Fairy hid a cornucopia of them beneath a shrub. We thought we blew it when the Blueberry Fairy ran out of stickers, in the rain, while we selfishly picked a pint of berries up at Sylvie’s favorite place, “Mountain House” in Vermont. She was motivated to walk again by both Hello Kitty stickers and Ponies courtesy of another best friend and physical therapist, Tracey. We had to buy bulk quantity of ponies on Ebay to have on hand as surprises, presents and rewards although Sylvie began asking if there were any ponies hiding in the washing machine where they were hidden.

Our home has always been filled with sound—laughter, music, pots clanging, pets playing—never a dull moment. As you can imagine, our life has instantly become very VERY quiet. The day Sylvie was born was the day we stopped really needing an alarm clock.

The pitter patter of little feet across the hardwood floors no later than 7 am, usually 5:55 though, followed by a surprise exclamation “Mommy, Wake up!” “Daddy, I woked up!” and often, “Is it light out? Are stores open” were just a few of the special phrases that are emblazoned in our hearts every single day.

Since Sylvie was an infant, music has been a central component in her life which was immediately obvious to anyone who had ever met Sylvie. She was always singing, converting words into song lyrics and dancing like a little maniac. It got her back on her feet during her treatment and recovery and we credited the personal attention showered upon Sylvie by her favorite kinder rock stars who went out of their way to make Sylvie feel like the biggest VIP at their concerts and she looked forward to showing them her latest dance moves, her ability to walk, run, perhaps a fancy party dress, Princess nightgown or toy. No trip in the car would be complete without Sylvie’s iPod mix and anyone who has experienced her screaming “I Hope My Mama Says Yes,” “Road Trip,” “Welcome Table,” or “Rocketship” knows what I’m talking about. Going to temple, whether for the high holidays or Tot Shabbat was such a joy for us. We all shed our inhibitions dancing, chasing and singing.

Sylvie was a magnetic little girl. Her personality—her sheer vocabulary!—lit up the room. Unless she didn’t want to be there, and trust me, if that was the case, she let you know. She made friends wherever she went and I think she really inspired people to celebrate and appreciate life a little more. She was magnetic. A leader. A friend.

Sylvie had the ability to build intense relationships and private moments with family and friends that each could call their own. Any trip with Sylvie, whether for a check up or to a restaurant was like her little political campaign trail. The shortest distance between to points may be a straight line, but for Sylvie, it included many stops along the way whether it was visiting a friend or two, earning a trip to the art store, the Hello Kitty Store, the merry-go-round, Princess Store or her new discovery, Target.

I woke up early, opened Sylvie’s closet doors. Spilling out were ballet shoes, red glitter shoes, leopard boots, butterfly wings, tiaras, sunglasses, coordinated hats & gloves & purses of course and princess dresses—and took out her favorite Sleeping Beauty Dress which Sylvie wore at every single moment. I held it. Buried my face in it. Inhaled it. Folded it. Repeated this process over and over hoping for some kind of cosmic acknowledgement that you were in the room with me. I was being shortsighted because, Sylvie you are everywhere.

SYLVIE: A friend assured us that you were called back to do some very important work and perhaps you were here so briefly with us to do the same. Our lives were completely enriched by your presence and completely & entirely empty and lost without you. We learned so much from you as you fought something as terrible as Stage IV liver and lung cancer and BEAT IT. You had to learn to do things so simple (or NOT) such as walking and eating again. You found joy in the smallest things and magic in EVERYTHING. You inspired us because you were stronger than us. You filled our hearts and minds with love so great that we felt like a helium balloon about to burst at any moment. Sylvie Rose Hughes, we love you more than the biggest number in the world times the biggest number in the world. To the moon and back again. And again. You have ALWAYS been with us every single second of every single day and our physical separation will not change that. One day we will meet again and hope you will have some sparkly stickers waiting for us. Come to think of it, we know you will.

Chanukah

Friday night is the first night of Chanukah. Last year, my valiant attempt at making the holiday a conscientious event took me until this year to manifest. I was annoyed at the lack of Chanukah representation. Unless you personally wrote a letter to an editor of a magazine about how your Chanukah is special chances are you'd see far more red & green than silver & blue. Since we were raising Sylvie Jewish, I also felt we needed to go a little overboard to demonstrate this. And anyone who knows me, knows that it just isn't a holiday without goodwill.

When we first moved to Ridgewood and celebrated Sylvie's 2nd birthday with our new friends, much to Michael's initial embarrassment, I requested that friends, in lieu of presents, bring bags of pennies for Pennies For Peace which is part of the Central Asia Institute (i.e. Three Cups of Tea) that builds schools and provides supplies, mostly for girls, in Pakistan & Afghanistan. Sylvie's cup already overflowed with three times the volume of everything a little girl could want or need. Michael thought our friends would think we were crazy hippies. Sylvie was too young to understand but I thought it's never too early to instill goodwill and generosity! Already, having a natural food store in the East Village, Vermont license plates and my breastfeeding Sylvie until she was 2 provided enough fodder for us to be a little "different." I told Michael that our friends & neighbors could think that I was the crazy one and that he's the normal one. It took me months to actually exchange the coins for bills. They rattled in the back of Blue Car and although Michael never said anything, I'm sure the sound of jingling pennies drove him insane! There was over $60 in pennies and I wrote a check for much more than that and sent it off to Montana.

And so I laid out my Chanukah plan. Every day, of the 8 days, would have a theme which could be expressed in any number of ways, regardless of cash flow. I had extra themes so that in years to come, we'd never be short of ideas. This is what I mapped out for this year:

EREV (evening) 1, Dec 11 Friends & Family night (Gift for family, family party) — I also bought Sylvie two fabulous headbands at Crewcuts because she just loved Caroline's fancy ones. Her hair was still a little too short for barrettes but she loved accessories (wink, wink) and headbands were the golden ticket for Sylvie. It was positively fate that Caroline should enter our lives this fall and have the most incredible collection of headbands that I've ever seen except maybe Leighton Meister's on Gossip Girl. Sylvie would try on Caroline's and run to the mirror where she'd pose and bat her long eyelashes. She would repeatedly try and steal a silver one with a big rhinestone butterfly. Sylvie is wearing that one right now.

DAY 2, Dec 12 Entertainment night (a movie, music or tickets to an event night, a musical instrument)—The Princess & The Frog movie at the Zigfield, Snow White DVD from my aunt Sharon, a Remo ocean drum like the one she'd play in the hospital

DAY 3, Dec 13 Game Night/ Special present night —Melissa & Doug Puppet Theater, Dollhouse from Grannie Annie

DAY 4, Dec 14 Environment night present or donation that recognizes or benefits the environment) — Subscription to National Geographic Kids

DAY 5, Dec 15 Healthful Hanukkah night (present related to fitness, health, well being, outdoors) —Hopefully enough snow for family outing with the rainbow sled Sylvie gave Michael for Christmas last year

DAY 6, Dec 16 Educational night— Sylvie/ Fancy Nancy Tea Party at Neiman Marcus & new holiday book, get Michael the Augusten Burroughs book

DAY 7, Dec 17 Tzedaka night —give presents to a needy family, bring treats and presents to HUMC

DAY 8, December 18 Adventure night —evening or theme related to travel from a book to a movie or a trip that hopefully we’ll be going on!)

Sylvie loved Chanukah. We had to keep her menorah out until around February last year. And year round, she'd have us read, "Chanukah: the Festival of Lights" to her over and over. My mom gave her another book but Lucy ate it a few weeks ago. We'd sing "Chanukah, O Chanukah Come Light the Menorah" and the Dreidel song year round which I'm sure doesn't surprise our friends and family since at this point they know, little Sylvie had rhythm. You know the phrase 'Don't sweat the small stuff, it's all small stuff" ? Obviously I don't subscribe to that whatsoever.

The Nutcracker

Since I was a little girl, my parents took me to Balanchine's Nutcracker ballet every holiday season. We'd mix it up with different productions from the extravagent Lincoln Center to the intimate Paper Mill Playhouse. Last year, we began the tradition with Sylvie. First we went to Lincoln Center (a colleague and friend who works at The New Yorker invited us, otherwise it would have been a bit too indulgent to take a 2 1/2 year old Sylvie). The following week we went to Bergen PAC. Sylvie loved it, albeit terrified of the Mouse King. At Lincoln Center, we had to watch the second half in the lobby because Sylvie turned into a human beat box and the paying folks in the adjacent seats gave us dirty looks. She slept with her nutcracker for weeks. We read the Nutcracker book over and over and over again. Sylvie watched Barbie Nutcracker endlessly, still screaming at the Mouse King.

This year, I stalked the Bergen PAC box office and before the ticket eblast was sent out, I bought a block of seats in the 4th row. I had Sylvie's dress picked out-- pink, purple and green plaid with a green sash-- super fancy and from Hannah Andersson. She's now buried in it.

As unconventional as it sounds, I felt compelled to go today because I know how much Sylvie would have enjoyed it and perhaps, she'd be there in spirit.

Coincidentally, a former co-worker of mine from the Sony days is the head of marketing at Bergen PAC. My friend Michelle reached out to Angela who was eager to help out in any way. Today's performance was dedicated to Sylvie and when they made the announcement before the program began, I shed the first of many tears from Row D. Samantha sat to my left, my mom to my right. Caroline and Michelle were also with us.

Samantha told me that Sylvie made the snow yesterday with her pink snowmaking machine. She was wearing the silver "Samantha" necklace that Sylvie gave her for her birthday. Then Samantha told me that she missed Sylvie. I told her, me too. Then she told me she wanted wings so they could fly together. During intermission, Angela and the head of the ballet presented me with an autographed poster from today's show. More tears. Towards the end, Samantha told me Sylvie was there and brought a telescope so she could see very close up. More tears. I wanted to see her, too. Catherine told me that Samantha has conversations with Sylvie. That makes me happy.

The girls first met when Sylvie was 16 months old and Samantha was 2 1/2. Samantha decided that Sylvie was going to be her best friend. And like that the girls were inseparable. Samantha forced Sylvie to wear her velour Jasmine nightgowns and Mardi Gras beads. Sylvie tortured her and stole her books. Sylvie obsessively wore Samantha's dresses. We had to hide the polka dot dress. They went to countless Laurie Berkner concerts (and backstage) together. Samantha sat in bed with Sylvie in the hospital while they colored pictures together and watched, what else, "Barbie Nutcracker." They were like sisters.

Today they would have gone beserk at The Nutcracker together, too. I looked around all over for signs of Sylvie (i.e. blinking light on Christmas tree. Errant snowflakes) although clearly there's a little bit of Sylvie in Samantha so I need not look that far.

Over in Brooklyn, Suzi Shelton dedicated her concert today in memory of Sylvie.

Tomorrow I am going to post our Eulogy to Sylvie. Several friends who could not attend her funeral have asked about it.

Shabbat

Caroline, our amazing au pair, the Brazilian Jackie O, used to dance around the kitchen singing "Fly Me to the Moon" to Sylvie. Naturally, Laurie Berkner recorded it which is how it ended up on Sylvie's ever-growing playlist. The lyrics are so sweet and poignant that I wanted to post them. If you feel so inclined, sing them to your kids while dancing around your kitchen, just like we did.

Last night, at temple, a family friend grabbed Michael's hands and said that Sylvie is the brightest star in the sky. We think so too. I used to ask her if she wanted to be a doctor, nurse, social worker or someone who helped little girls feel better and she always said no. Had I asked her if she wanted to be an angel, I'm sure she would have wholeheartedly said yes.

Temple was really hard for us. I truly embrace the notion of Shabbat and casting aside the week's work and worries for 24 hours of family embracing, literally a day of rest. The notion of Shabbat is partially responsible for the survival of the Jewish faith-- that no matter what hardship and persecution that the Jews were facing, they had Shabbat to look forward to. But watching the 12 year-old kids who are studying for their B'Nai Mitzvah's carouse with the Rabbi, or the family of three sisters on the other side of the aisle play with each other during the service was so incredibly difficult to watch that I couldn't hold back my tears. I imagined over and over and over again how much Sylvie would have loved being there. I kept seeing her angelic school picture come to life. I felt cheated and robbed. I felt like our life as a family was just reset back to zero. Like we're a lifetime away from being anywhere near that again. I fell asleep because I couldn't watch anymore and we snuck out immediately after because I couldn't face the well wishers afterwords. A really nice guy, father of three, did chase us to the coat closet to say how sorry he was.

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby , kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

Fly Me To the Moon

Sylvie was extraordinary and judging by the outpouring of support from friends and family, it would be nearsighted to think that Michael and I were the only ones touched by her short but robust life and the untimely tragedy of her death last Sunday.

We are crushed. Devastated. Angry. Speechless. Confused. Sad. Lonely. Purposeless.

We are also so touched and humbled by the outpouring of support and love from everyone. Thank you. A million times over. The biggest number times the biggest number. When Sylvie was ill, it was hard for us to say, “Okay, we need help.” And when she fully recovered from cancer, it was a joy for us to share our happiness and we schemed over different ways to thank each and every person for making our days a little brighter. I can’t tell you what we need right now because we had learned that all we needed was our little supernova and without her, life does not go on as we ever knew or imagined it to be.