Spencer + Ryan Turn One

As Sylvie loved birthdays, anyone's birthday, any reason to light candles and have cake + cupcake, I thought it would be a good time to post as Spencer + Ryan turned ONE last week. I have in my closet, my retro locker basket filled with Sylvie's first birthday cards, birthday candle, 'recipe cards' that I made featuring healthy muffins that ideally, kids should love although Sylvie hated them. I ordered cakes from Ciao For Now in the East Village since they made all of Sylvie's birthday cakes. Michael can't even walk past their store front for fear of talking to Amy and Kevin who own it. To tell you the truth, I am not sure if they know Sylvie passed away. All I know is that I ordered the cakes and asked them to deliver them to Commodities so that Michael would not have to have any interaction. For better or worse, I nursed Sylvie exclusively for 25 months. Therefore, she pretty much hated all solid food for the first year except for guacamole, hummus and soba noodles. Needless to say, she was not advanced enough to eat chocolate ganache birthday cake. Spencer and Ryan on the other hand, nursed for 6 long months, eat ANYTHING. We also picked up 75 Baked By Melissa cupcakes just because, and just because Sylvie would have LOVED them, especially the tie dye versions. Spencer and Ryan ate three each! For Sylvie's first birthday, we had a crazy party at Michael's friend's insanely fabulous bachelor pad loft yet we were not intent on topping that for Spencer + Ryan. We opted for more low key although we were intent on opening up a bottle of vintage 1993 Dom Perignon that we were saving for an occasion such as this-- to celebrate that we had survived our first year as parents to twins. It's challenging for us to compartmentalize the celebration of Spencer + Ryan's birthday in a separate box from our near two-year loss of Sylvie which is as intense an emotion for us today as two years ago. Tita Cindy gave the little guys a magnificent custom print of the lyrics to the song that played at the moment they were born, "Oh Heavenly Day" by Patty Griffin and in addition to their names and birth dates listed at the bottom, there is a little butterfly on the top right.

Anyway, this blog is not about Spencer + Ryan.

After Sylvie passed away, I took a children's book writing class because I had several ideas churning in my head and wanted to learn about picture book writing, formatting and marketing. Unless you're Fancy Nancy or Knuffle Bunny, let's just say a barrista at Starbucks probably eeks out a better living (and medical insurance!). I was pregnant with Spencer + Ryan when the class began so walking in the slush to the train and then traipsing around Manhattan once a week was exhausting although it gave me a chance see my friends Beka, Kerri and Liana on a regular basis. They didn't mind that I cried in public either. And I quickly wrote "BFF" which is a story about two best friends whose relationship transcends time and space. Because I am a terrible procrastinator, I gave myself a deadline of Sylvie's best friend Samantha's fifth birthday, that March, to complete it. I live in FEAR of the day Samantha tells me that she can't remember what Sylvie looks like so I wanted to actually share the story here in the hope that it possesses some magic and that Samantha always remembers. A friend of mine had offered to get it illustrated by a very famous illustrator and perhaps one day that will be the case. I have a bunch of friends who are amazing graphic designers and illustrators in their own right, but illustrating a book about your friend's dead daughter as opposed to an album package design or band logo is not something I am prepared to do! A classmate in my writing class suggested it had religious over tones but when I told her it was a TRUE story and that, believe you me, I have some serious issues with God or the idea of God and therefore went out of my away to avoid specific references, she backed down. I think she was just looking for a fight about religion. I can fight all day about the survival of the human spirit and the role of women in organized religion but didn't think that our children's book writing class was the place for that. For now, please use your imagination as this is how a 32-page picture book looks in outline form and feel free to read this to the little people in your life.

Since I usually write in rapid-fire, I do have another post on a different subject altogether. Stay tuned.

B.F.F (Best Friends Forever)
Best Friends Forever
By Audra Hughes
(Copyright 2010)

(page 1, acknowledgements)
(pages 2-3 title page)

(p. 4)
Samantha and Sylvie were best friends.

Samantha taught Sylvie about fairies, mermaids and princesses from exotic places. And sharing.

(p. 5)
Sylvie taught Samantha a lot about friendship too even though she was not nearly as good about sharing.

(p. 6-7)
(Illustration to include among other things, Samantha hiding angel wings and a book beneath a couch cushion)

They did best friend things like dressing up in costumes, going to the park, having movie nights and sleepovers. They occasionally fought over silly things.

Sometimes, Samantha would trick Sylvie by hiding some of her favorite things under the couch cushion. Best friends can be funny that way, too.

(p. 8)
One day at school, Sylvie got a bad tummy ache. Worse than when she ate too much pizza and ice cream. She felt very sick.

(p. 9)
Sylvie’s mommy and daddy took her to the pediatrician and then to a big hospital that looked like a fancy hotel. Everyone was very nice and gave Sylvie special presents. She was too tired to play, talk or walk.

A bunch of doctors in white coats told her mommy and daddy that Sylvie was very sick. She would have to stay in the hospital for a long time but would get better and someday, the doctors and nurses would dance at her wedding.

(p. 10)
So Samantha packed up her favorite toys and brought them to the hospital where the two little girls sat in the enormous adjustable bed and watched movies on the giant television about fairies, mermaids and princesses from exotic places. Sylvie wanted to be a mermaid. Samantha wanted to be a princess. Best friends like different things.

(p. 11)
Sylvie’s medicine was making her tummy better, but it had a funny way of making her feel sleepy, sick and sometimes grumpy. During the day, clowns, dogs and volunteers would visit and try to cheer her up. Sylvie acquired many new dolls, toys and pink things that she shared with Samantha who visited often.

Best friends can be best friends anywhere.

(p. 12-13)
One day Samantha brought Sylvie a postcard of a snowy mountain from a recent trip.

(illustration of postcard with the following message: “VERMONT IS HEAVEN!”)

Sylvie had a mountain house, too. One winter, they went together and made snow angels in the (meadow) backyard.

(p. 14)
(illustration to show girls in bed eating a smorgasboard of food like fettucini alfredo, chicken noodle soup, mashed potatoes, etc.)

When Sylvie hadn’t eaten in so long that she forgot how to, Samantha showed her. They had Italian ices for dessert. Sylvie’s wanted the cherry red, Samantha purplely grape. Best friends like different things.

(p. 15)
(Illustration of Samantha teaching Sylvie how to dance like a ballerina princess)

When Sylvie was feeling a little better she went home and Samantha came over after school. Sylvie was wobbly from being in bed all day and Samantha showed her how to dance again. They were still best friends.

(p. 16)
Sylvie got better than better. She got perfect. Just like her friendship with Samantha.

(p. 17)
They went out for pizza and ice cream, their favorites! Sylvie got vanilla, Samantha chocolate. Best friends like different things.

(p. 18-19)
(Illustration of the girls at a concert. Should also include that Samantha has barrettes in her long hair, Sylvie is wearing a similar headband in her VERY short hair and they are wearing matching outfits and backstage passes)

Sylvie and Samantha went to a concert together. They made sparkly posters for the band. After, they went for cupcakes. Sylvie ate red velvet and Samantha had chocolate. Best friends like different things.

(p. 20-21)
They also went to a butterfly exhibit at a museum where they saw thousands of butterflies that landed on their noses, eyelashes and fingertips. Sylvie liked the Tiger Swallowtail and Samantha liked the Blue Pansy butterflies. Best friends really do like different things.

(p. 22-23)
One day, Sylvie wasn’t feeling well again and returned to the hospital. The doctors and nurses ran lots of tests while Sylvie slept in the big girl bed. Only this time, she never came home. Samantha was very sad and missed her best friend.

(p. 24)
Samantha's mom told her Sylvie was in Heaven. Samantha asked if that was Vermont? No, it's farther. Samantha's dad told Samantha Sylvie was like a caterpillar that turned into a butterfly. This made Samantha feel slightly better.


(p. 25)
Her mom then told Samantha they could see Sylvie in pictures, movies and in their minds. “What does that mean?” Asked Samantha.
“Close your eyes and imagine you and Sylvie somewhere,” Samantha’s mom continued.
“I can see Sylvie!” Samantha exclaimed. “Sometimes she’s here with me, too. She tickled my feet in the car on the way home from school yesterday,” Samantha told her. She also thought Sylvie made the snow that blanketed their neighborhood and covered her swing set.

They were still best friends.

(p. 26-27)

Samantha’s mom suggested they make a memory box filled with their favorite treasures.

(Illustration of cross-section of house featuring vignettes depicting Samantha gathering objects from different rooms in her house that reminded her of Sylvie. Suggestions… gathering pictures of her and Sylvie playing dress up, jumping in waves, blowing out candles and acting silly…Searching for stickers of fairies, mermaids and princesses from exotic places. On the top shelf of a bookshelf, removing a snow globe depicting a scene from The Nutcracker ballet… From her jewelry box, removing a necklace with a rocketship charm that reminded her of their favorite song from the concert. In the bathroom, plucking her electric princess toothbrush, sparkly lipstick and glitter nail polish. In the pantry, snatching a jar of rainbow sprinkles and from the playroom, tubes of glitter glue. In the living room, she grabbing a CD featuring some of their favorite songs labeled “Sylvie’s birthday mix.”)

From beneath the couch cushion, Samantha pulled out a pair of sparkly angel wings and a favorite book that she had once hidden from Sylvie. She put on the wings and packed the book into the box. It was nearly complete.

(p. 28-29)
Lastly, she gripped her favorite purple pen with a miniature princess on the end and a piece of grape-smelling stationary. She wrote:

Dear Sylvie,
We were very little girls when we first met. I am lucky to have an angel for a best friend. I miss you.

Best Friends Forever,
Samantha

(Samantha putting all these things in a shoebox)

Samantha and her mom put the box on her bookshelf where she could look at it all the time.

(page 30-31)
(Illustration: Samantha runs outside and makes a snow angel next to the swing set that when blanketed in snow, resembles a castle)

All day and night it snowed.

“Thank you Sylvie!” she yelled as loud as she could.

(page 32)
The next morning, there were two snow angels. Best friends can be best friends anywhere!