Happy New Year

Every minute of every day, we're reminded about Sylvie's illness whether it's her crewcut or abdominal scar or wobbly movements. Or the bills, envelopes from Oxford United Healthcare and doctor appointments. it's knowing the pharmacist's voice or being called by him to inquire if we might need a refill for Sylvie's raspberry-flavored magnesium glycinate. Or Dr. Rosen stopping by the house en route home from the Whole Child Center and lining up Sylvie's three new mini My Little Pony's (a present from Tracey, Sylvie's physical therapist) on our arts & crafts style front door because she left them in his office. The continued kindness of friends, neighbors and even strangers like Denise who makes us amazing chicken noodle soup. Or little Suzanne down the street who gave Sylvie the most fancy Barbie ever. Perhaps it's my parent's rabbi waving to Sylvie during Rosh Hashana services and mouthing the words to me "I'm so happy that you are here" or something like that. We were very happy to be there too.

I'm actually not sure if Sylvie is technically in remission; I'm sure she is not considered to be cured --not yet, I'm pretty sure.

On one hand, we appreciate and treasure every single moment with Sylvie but naturally, when she is hiding in her Tinkerbell Tent in the playroom every morning in an effort to not go to preschool, going "boneless" on me as I try to dress her in something other than a tulle princess costume or one of her many pink dresses, trying to escape the potty, or going insane for the first 25 out of 30 minutes of her first private gymnastics class, I'm just like any other mom being tortured by their strong-willed and sassy toddler. It took Michael an hour to try and get Sylvie dressed this morning while Catherine and I sweated it out at a 6 am spin class. I reminded him abut each of our friends' kids who do the same thing. In a way, it's comforting knowing that Sylvie is just like her friends.

Tomorrow morning, Sylvie has her CT scans, an AFP test and appointment with Dr. Harris. I'm very concerned about her continued abdominal pain. If she were healthy and "normal" I'd be worried so naturally it's unsettling to Michael and me. I am eager to see how much she weighs. Sylvie eats an egg and cheese on challah sandwich at least once a day and for the next few days, Blue Smoke mac n cheese which I swear is made with bacon fat and cayenne pepper. I thought I'd hurl when I tried it but Sylvie can't get enough of it. I'd weigh about 25 pounds more if I ate like that. That being said, she eats her fare share of very healthy foods, too, from cashews to cottage cheese, organic fig cookies and cantaloupe.

Michael and I went to yoga tonight. Michael is on pins and needles about tomorrow. Sylvie is in that awful stage where she's nearly ready to lose her afternoon nap. She fell asleep tonight at 7 pm in a Cinderella dress that looks like a 7-layer-cake of blue and silver fabric. We need to get her to drink some apple-flavored barium. Last time, it made her puke. Oh joy.

Speaking of joy, I told her we were going to see the Dan Zanes movie on Friday afternoon (at Housing Works Book Cafe) and that Dan would be there too. She was pretty ecstatic and reminded me of the time he dedicated "Jump Up " to her.

L'Shana Tovah friends and family.